Speaking lessons from my father, Sharpiepresents35
January 23rd 2019
⏰ 2 minute read
⏰ 2 minute read
Funeral
Last week I had a speaking engagement in London. It was great to get back & see friends & family in the home town. The occasion was a sad one, it was my fathers funeral & his 3 sons all gave a short speech. One of my friends said it must have been difficult, but I was helped by these 3 speaking lessons my father taught me. You can try them too.
Read to quote
Read to us
The first lesson is to read a lot. One of my favorite memories of my father is him reading to us when we were little. He read to us all the time & I did the same with my kids. I made this the start & finish of my speech because when he was dying I read to him. Reading gives you ideas.
Widely read
Dad read very widely. He grew up in quite a poor household, but ended up becoming a doctor. He read a lot of literature to educate himself. My mum says he’s the most widely read person she ever met. But he was also happy to read plenty of easier reads too. Like father, like son, I did a lot of reading too:
Always quoting
When he read he picked up a lot of quotes often poetry & being Scottish plenty of Burns. He memorized many & used them to match occasions... ‘let yer wind gang free where ‘ere ye be’ was a favorite. When I read i pick a quote to match my presentation. My funeral speech had one. Use quotes to emphasize your point & help make it memorable.
Tone of voice
Terrify
The second lesson is tone of voice. As my second brother remembered in his speech, friends were often awed by my dad’s voice when he answered the telephone or met them. Some of them were scared of him. It would only take a word or two in his tone of voice to shock whoever it was directed at to pay attention.
Firm
It was a firm tone, not an angry or aggressive one. He controlled his children using his voice & he used the same tone with everyone regardless of whether they were related or not. While it could frighten some people, the main emotion it generated was respect. I never saw him speak in public, but I imagine that’s what’s his audience would have felt.
Last week I had a speaking engagement in London. It was great to get back & see friends & family in the home town. The occasion was a sad one, it was my fathers funeral & his 3 sons all gave a short speech. One of my friends said it must have been difficult, but I was helped by these 3 speaking lessons my father taught me. You can try them too.
Read to quote
Read to us
The first lesson is to read a lot. One of my favorite memories of my father is him reading to us when we were little. He read to us all the time & I did the same with my kids. I made this the start & finish of my speech because when he was dying I read to him. Reading gives you ideas.
Widely read
Dad read very widely. He grew up in quite a poor household, but ended up becoming a doctor. He read a lot of literature to educate himself. My mum says he’s the most widely read person she ever met. But he was also happy to read plenty of easier reads too. Like father, like son, I did a lot of reading too:
Always quoting
When he read he picked up a lot of quotes often poetry & being Scottish plenty of Burns. He memorized many & used them to match occasions... ‘let yer wind gang free where ‘ere ye be’ was a favorite. When I read i pick a quote to match my presentation. My funeral speech had one. Use quotes to emphasize your point & help make it memorable.
Tone of voice
Terrify
The second lesson is tone of voice. As my second brother remembered in his speech, friends were often awed by my dad’s voice when he answered the telephone or met them. Some of them were scared of him. It would only take a word or two in his tone of voice to shock whoever it was directed at to pay attention.
Firm
It was a firm tone, not an angry or aggressive one. He controlled his children using his voice & he used the same tone with everyone regardless of whether they were related or not. While it could frighten some people, the main emotion it generated was respect. I never saw him speak in public, but I imagine that’s what’s his audience would have felt.
Serious
Whenever I present or speak I use that same style of voice. A low firm tone, a serious voice. It’s good to have some humor in what you present, but I wouldn’t go for the over friendly or chatty tone. I usually keep it serious, somber even. I’ve found my fathers ‘dour’ style helps to get attention & people listen to you. Use tone to control your audience.
Tell a story
Make it up
In addition to reading us other people’s stories in books, dad also taught us to create stories. He would make up a story on the spot & tell it to us instead of reading. This is a good way to learn how to craft stories, but of course you should always tell the truth when presenting. Another of his quotes was ‘truth is stranger than fiction’.
Tell a friend
That’s exactly what I would often see my father doing. With friends he would tell great stories about what had happened in real life. Stories of holidays, sports, school, work, family. He would turn everyday events into great fun stories & when he was feeling comfortable you could hardly get him to stop.
Tell your audience
When you are presenting, tell stories. It’s the best way to get your message accross because everyone remembers the story. The best presenters are the best story tellers. I told 3 short stories in the funeral speech. Stories about what my father did & how I did the same. The son does what he sees the father do.
Stand & deliver
One last thing. In London people usually speak from behind a lectern & read their speech from a printed or written paper script. But i always stand away from the lectern & without a script US style. I don’t know what dad would think of that, he might not agree. Another of his favorite quotes ‘when in Rome, do as the Romans do’.
Be a great presenter!
Sebastian
Whenever I present or speak I use that same style of voice. A low firm tone, a serious voice. It’s good to have some humor in what you present, but I wouldn’t go for the over friendly or chatty tone. I usually keep it serious, somber even. I’ve found my fathers ‘dour’ style helps to get attention & people listen to you. Use tone to control your audience.
Tell a story
Make it up
In addition to reading us other people’s stories in books, dad also taught us to create stories. He would make up a story on the spot & tell it to us instead of reading. This is a good way to learn how to craft stories, but of course you should always tell the truth when presenting. Another of his quotes was ‘truth is stranger than fiction’.
Tell a friend
That’s exactly what I would often see my father doing. With friends he would tell great stories about what had happened in real life. Stories of holidays, sports, school, work, family. He would turn everyday events into great fun stories & when he was feeling comfortable you could hardly get him to stop.
Tell your audience
When you are presenting, tell stories. It’s the best way to get your message accross because everyone remembers the story. The best presenters are the best story tellers. I told 3 short stories in the funeral speech. Stories about what my father did & how I did the same. The son does what he sees the father do.
Stand & deliver
One last thing. In London people usually speak from behind a lectern & read their speech from a printed or written paper script. But i always stand away from the lectern & without a script US style. I don’t know what dad would think of that, he might not agree. Another of his favorite quotes ‘when in Rome, do as the Romans do’.
Be a great presenter!
Sebastian